Best Couples Therapy Near me - What to Expect


Looking for couples therapy near me and don't know what to expect?

 If so, you are in the right place.  I am in the middle of a 4-part blog series about what you need to know prior to your first couples therapy appointment.

Feel free to check out my first two posts here and here.

What to Expect at Couples Therapy Near me
Tip #1

Be prepared to get curious about your role when you blame your partner for things.

You may come into the first counseling session with a list of concerns about your partner.  There are some things that you know they need to change in order for your relationship to work.

couples therapy near me

So, when you share your concerns with the relationship therapist, it may feel frustrating and surprising when the therapist gets curious about your role in the concerns you have about your partner. 


You may be thinking: 


“Why the heck are you asking me about my role in their problem? Didn’t you hear what I said… and why can’t you see that???”

It can feel frustrating.  So, try to remember this tip:


Be prepared for questions about your role in the challenging interaction.  


The reason we therapists get curious about your actions/reactions in the concerns you bring up about your partner is because we are interested in how the interaction starts, escalates, and resolves. 

We ask you questions because it helps give us insight into how the difficult interactions with your partner may tend to play out.

As I have said in previous blog posts, therapists aren’t so interested in choosing sides… because in the long run that doesn’t get couples closer to greater emotional intimacy and connection. 

We are interested in identifying patterns that keep your relationship stuck.

And while you may know what needs to change about your partner in order to make the relationship work, it is important that you get curious about what could change in how you engage with your partner during the difficult interaction. 

Find Out What to Expect at Couples Therapy Near me
Tip #2

Be prepared to be asked some tough questions…

The first tip segues nicely into tip #2. 


Some of the questions you’ll be asked may make you uncomfortable…

hopefully not too uncomfortable. 


Please know that If you aren’t ready to answer questions…


It is 100% okay to say something like, “I’m not comfortable answering that question right now.”

The therapist doesn’t need to know detailed answers to questions that they ask… nor do they need an answer to every question they ask. 


We therapists understand and respect boundaries.  We want you to feel comfortable coming to therapy and our goal is to help you achieve your goals.  


After all, if your boundaries feel violated after the first session and you decide to never come back, we haven’t helped you achieve your goals… quite the opposite! 

Please, please, please, speak up and tell your therapist if you aren’t comfortable sharing.

Find Out What to Expect at Couples Therapy Near me
Tip #3

Be prepared to be tempted to lie or omit facts to the therapist.


Here’s the hard truth, therapists can’t help you achieve your relationship goals if we don’t know what is causing or contributing to your issues/concerns.  


Ultimately, when you lie or omit details or don’t share your honest feelings, you are lying to yourself.   


How can you work to improve your relationship if some issues aren’t ever named or addressed?

If, on the off chance, you are worried about what I- or any other therapist- would think about what you don’t want to disclose, please know we have heard it all! We won’t think poorly of you… quite the contrary… 


It takes a great deal of courage to disclose something that is tough to say out loud.   


I like to say to people that…

No one on the planet would want the worst thing they said, did, or thought to be on the front page of the newspaper.

And to say out loud something you find difficult or shameful is pure courage.  


If nothing else compels you to be honest, let me appeal to your wallet:  Therapy isn’t cheap. 

Don’t waste your time and money holding back and not getting the help you need based on your actual concerns/issues.  

 Hopefully, if you are thinking about couples counseling, you’re ready to give therapy a go!

Free free to contact me directly if you have questions or to schedule a brief call to see if I might be able to support you as you journey forward.


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