Over the course of the blog series, I’ve discussed common marriage reconciliation mistakes to avoid after infidelity.
To read the first 4 mistakes, head over here.
To learn about 2 important ground rules to set, head here.
To gain insight into 2 common boundary mistakes after the affair, go here.
Setting realistic expectations around healing after an affair is critical… for both the unfaithful and the betrayed.
It’s common for the unfaithful partner to need the betrayed partner to hurry the process.
It’s also common for the betrayed partner to believe that life will never get better.
Today, we’ll be examining these common misperceptions.
Before I begin the topic, I want to emphasize something that I wrote in the last blog post because I think it bears repeating:
If you are desperate to take immediate action regarding the infidelity, pause to consider before you make a decision to act:
but there are many things you CAN do to calm your nervous system down. They are ridiculously easy AND incredibly effective.
I’d encourage you to work specifically on your trauma- that is- dealing with PTSD and residual symptoms.
What it does mean is that the betrayed is able to say (over and over and over again):
The betrayed must be able to react in ways that may be very powerful and dramatic but are not tearing down your humanity
The betrayed partner has felt like their life has been shattered by your actions. It’s important that they have control over getting questions answered.
I hope you have found the blog series to be helpful in examining common issues that come up after the affair has been exposed.
Trying to create a new life after an affair can be very difficult.
I’d encourage you to seek professional help. Life is hard enough to navigate.
Getting professional guidance can help you navigate the difficulty while maintaining your values and beliefs and growing in resilience and strength.
Are you ready to give therapy a go?
Free free to contact me directly if you have questions or to schedule a brief call to see if I might be able to support you as you journey forward.
Jill
As a marriage and family therapist, I also offer:
Relationship Counseling
Individual Counseling