Couples Counseling in Indianapolis
Stop sleeping on the couch. It’s time to transform your relationship.
When the same problems keep showing up
You love each other. But something isn’t working.
Do you feel like you are constantly bickering and things are always escalating into a fight?
Your fights are over the same issues, and you never really feel heard. Maybe one of you wants to talk and the other wants space. Maybe one keeps pushing for resolution while the other shuts down. The argument is rarely just about the dishes, the schedule, sex, money, parenting or the in-laws.
That’s where couples therapy can help.
You don’t need to be on the brink to ask for help, and you don’t need to agree on what the problem is before you call. Figuring that out is part of the work.
Understanding your pattern
Couples therapy isn’t about deciding who is right.
That would be convenient. It would also make for fairly terrible couples therapy. Most couples aren’t fighting because one person is difficult and the other has achieved perfect emotional enlightenment. Usually, there is a cycle. And we’re not terribly interested in having you sit on a couch and complain about each other for an hour a week. Couples therapy here is active.
In short: one partner gets anxious and pushes, the other feels criticized and pulls away, the first pushes harder, and the second gets more defensive or distant. Then it starts over. Underneath, the first partner often fears being alone with the problem and the second fears never being enough. In counseling we slow the cycle down at the moment it starts, name what’s underneath, and practice a different move in the room.
Which of these sounds like you?
Different couples get stuck in different places.
You may recognize one of these, or several.
“We communicate terribly.”
You know the “I statements,” you’ve read the books, and you’ve promised each other next time would be different. Insight usually isn’t what’s missing. Catching it in the moment is.
Roommates with a shared calendar.
The logistics run well. The conversation, affection, fun and sex have gone quiet, and you’re not sure when.
Bringing it up has become its own problem.
You rehearse the opening, brace for the reaction, and sometimes decide it isn’t worth it.
You’re the one who notices and follows up.
If you don’t ask, it doesn’t happen. By the time you raise it you’re already frustrated.
You’re working hard and it’s never enough.
You want things to improve and dread another talk about what you’re doing wrong.
Sex and affection feel loaded.
Wanting to feel desired, wanting room to say no, missing ordinary touch. All of it can be true at once.
Honest conversations about intimacy
Sex and intimacy problems in relationships
Sex is part of many relationships, and it can become one of the most emotionally loaded subjects in them.
Maybe one person wants sex more often. Maybe sex has become predictable, pressured, avoided, awkward, painful, or nonexistent. Maybe there are concerns about desire, erectile functioning, orgasm, body image, trauma or menopause. Or maybe nobody is quite sure when sex became so complicated.
These issues are incredibly common, and hard to talk about without someone feeling rejected, pressured or embarrassed. Sex therapy and couples counseling create a place to talk about intimacy honestly, without treating either partner as the problem.
Choosing a starting point
Three ways to work on your relationship
Different containers for the same work. You don’t have to choose before you call.
In short: weekly couples counseling (Jenny or Jill) fits when you want steady support while changes happen at home. A couples or affair recovery intensive (Jill) is one, two or three full days with six clinical hours a day, for couples who keep having the same fight or are recovering from betrayal. Discernment counseling (Jenny or Jill) is one to five short-term sessions for when one of you is leaning out and the other wants to work on it. Not sure which fits? That’s what the free 15-minute consultation is for.
When something bigger is going on
Betrayal, deeper work, and big decisions
Affair recovery and betrayal
Infidelity can make a relationship feel unrecognizable almost overnight. Recovery takes more than an apology: room to understand what happened, safety, disclosure, and time to decide what you want the relationship to become.
When weekly sessions aren’t enough
Sometimes an hour goes very quickly, and everyone is looking at the clock just as the conversation gets somewhere. Jill’s couples intensives are one, two or three full days of focused work, with a written plan afterward.
What if one of you isn’t sure about staying?
You can love someone and still not know whether that’s enough. When one of you is leaning out and the other wants to work on it, discernment counseling offers one to five short sessions with Jenny or Jill to get clear on a direction. We’re not on “team stay” or “team go.”
A little less guesswork
What getting started looks like
“Something isn’t working and we can’t explain it” is plenty to start with.
A free 15-minute call
Tell us what’s happening, ask about fees and scheduling, and see whether we’re a good fit. Choose Jenny or Jill, or tell us you’re not sure and we’ll help you decide. One of you can make the call.
Your first sessions
We get to know what brings you in, what each of you wants to change, and what you’ve already tried. Some questions may feel uncomfortable, and “I’m not comfortable answering that right now” is always okay.
A plan that fits you
Together we set specific goals, work on real moments from your week, try something different at home and bring it back, and check whether things are changing. If something isn’t helping, we adjust. What to expect in couples therapy →
Warm, direct, collaborative
Meet Jenny and Jill.
Both of us are interested in the pattern between you, not in picking a villain. Pick whoever sounds like a fit, or we’ll help you decide.
Jenny Staats, LMSW
- Couples
- Premarital
- Discernment
Couples and premarital work, with a warm, practical, collaborative style. If ADHD, stress, parenting or a big life transition has turned your relationship into a never-ending logistics meeting, she gets it.
Jill Frame, LMFT, CST
- Couples
- Sex therapy
- Affair recovery
- Intensives
Warm and direct, with a Marriage and Family Therapist’s eye for the whole system rather than a villain. Jill works with couples in distress, sex therapy as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, affair and betrayal recovery, discernment, and intensives.
Couples counseling in Indianapolis, Indiana
In person in Broad Ripple
6229 Indianola Ave, Indianapolis, IN 46220We see couples from Indianapolis, Carmel, Fishers, Zionsville, Brownsburg and nearby.
Get directions →Online in Indiana and Florida
For people located in Indiana or Florida, with both partners on one screen or two. Same work, same appointment length.
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation →Questions couples ask before they book
Questions about couples counseling
It’s normal to feel nervous about starting couples counseling. Here are the questions people ask most.
What if my partner doesn’t want couples counseling?
This is incredibly common. One partner is usually more enthusiastic than the other. Sometimes “I don’t want couples counseling” means: I’m afraid the therapist will take your side, or I don’t want to spend an hour talking about everything I do wrong, or I’m afraid we’re going to find out the relationship can’t be fixed. A good couples therapist isn’t there to create a prosecution and defense. We’re interested in the relationship, which means understanding both people and the pattern the two of you have built together.
You don’t need to arrive believing it will work, only willing enough to show up and see. If your partner won’t come at all, one of you can call us first, ask what the process is like, and decide on a next step. How to ask your partner to try couples therapy has words you can borrow.
Will the therapist take sides?
We’re not there to pick a winner, but that doesn’t mean everything gets treated as equal. We’ll ask about your part in the pattern, and your partner’s, and we’ll address harmful behavior directly rather than smoothing it over. You should leave sessions feeling that both of you were heard and that what actually happened was named.
What happens in the first session?
We learn what brings you in, what each of you wants to change, and what you’ve already tried. Expect your therapist to get curious about your role in the problem, and expect some questions that feel uncomfortable. You’re allowed boundaries (“I’m not comfortable answering that right now” is a complete sentence), and you don’t have to disclose everything at once. Try not to leave out the thing you came to work on; your therapist can’t help with something they don’t know exists. What to expect and tips for your first session go into more detail.
What if therapy shows the relationship can’t be repaired?
That fear stops a lot of couples from booking. We don’t promise reconciliation, and we don’t treat ending the relationship as the predetermined answer. If one of you is unsure about staying, discernment counseling is built for that: one to five short sessions to get clear on a direction, with no pressure to decide before you’re ready.
Do we have to be married?
No. We see married couples and long-term partners, and engaged couples can look at premarital counseling. Couples of every kind are welcome, including LGBTQ+ couples. You also don’t need to be in crisis; some couples come because things are fine and they want them better.
What does it cost?
Jenny and Jill are out-of-network. We can provide a superbill for possible reimbursement, many people use HSA or FSA funds, and reimbursement depends on your plan. Current fees are on the Fees and FAQ page.
Is couples counseling safe if I’m afraid of my partner?
Not always. If raising a concern could lead to threats, intimidation, violence or punishment, please tell us on the consultation call before booking a joint session. Couples counseling is not recommended when one partner is being abused, and we would help you find the right support first.
Ready to start?
Couples counseling that goes beyond “communicate better.”
Your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect. But it should feel like a place where both of you can grow.
You don’t have to know what kind of therapy you need. That’s what the consultation is for.
Schedule a free 15-minute consultationIn person in Broad Ripple · Online in Indiana + Florida
