Anxiety • Practice • Your next step
What Nick Saban Can Teach You About Anxiety
A little football wisdom. A practical way to approach anxiety. And permission to take it one helpful play at a time.
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Nick Saban and anxiety might seem like an odd pairing.
One brings to mind football, headsets, and a very intense sideline. The other might look like lying awake at 2 a.m., mentally rehearsing a conversation that has not happened.
Stay with me. There is a connection.
Saban is the former head football coach at the University of Alabama. He retired in January 2024, and in his retirement statement, he said:
“It is not just about how many games we won and lost, but it's about the legacy and how we went about it.”
I know considerably more about anxiety than football. Please do not hand me a clipboard and expect a useful play.
But that attention to how we go about it? That gets my therapist brain going.
The lesson I borrow from Saban is this: give your attention to the next helpful action. You can practice a different response to anxiety even before you feel completely calm.
Let’s talk about what that actually looks like.
Nick Saban’s process—and your anxiety scoreboard
Saban’s well-known emphasis on “the process” centers on the daily work behind an outcome. Preparation and consistent actions receive attention alongside the eventual result. Background on Saban’s process
Here is how I apply that idea to anxiety.
Imagine trying to play football while staring at the scoreboard. You can see whether you are ahead or behind. Meanwhile, there is something happening on the field that needs your attention.
Anxiety can pull us into a similar pattern:
Am I calmer yet?
Did that breathing exercise work?
Why am I still nervous?
Wanting relief makes complete sense. Anxiety can be exhausting.
But if the only acceptable result is “I feel no anxiety,” you can miss the useful thing you just did. Maybe you spoke up. Maybe you made the appointment. Maybe you noticed the worry and returned to what mattered.
The question I want to add is:
What is my next helpful play?
That is my therapy metaphor, rather than a quotation from Saban or a treatment method he developed.
Feeling anxious does not automatically mean the skill failed
Suppose you are nervous about contributing during a meeting. Your goal is to offer one idea.
You do it. Your voice shakes a little. Your heart keeps pounding.
Afterward, anxiety delivers its review: “Well, that was terrible.”
Hold on. You did the thing you were practicing.
Your discomfort matters, and so does your participation. In exposure-based treatment, learning can occur even when fear does not drop dramatically during an exercise. Immediate relief is one part of the picture. Research on learning during exposure therapy
That does not make every coping skill effective for every person. It means that “I still felt anxious” is not enough information to decide whether the practice was useful.
Other signs of progress might include:
- Recognizing a worry pattern sooner.
- Spending less time caught in a familiar checking loop.
- Participating in something important while feeling nervous.
- Letting a question remain unanswered for a little longer.
- Telling your therapist when the plan needs adjusting.
Your scoreboard gets to include those things, too.
Read the progress graphic as text
- I noticed the pattern.
- I caught myself getting pulled into the same worry.
- I made a useful choice.
- I chose one manageable action, even with some uncertainty.
- I participated while anxious.
- I did something that mattered while feeling nervous.
- I asked to adjust the plan.
- I told my therapist what was and wasn’t helping.
Get familiar with your anxiety’s playbook
Anxiety can make a possibility feel like an urgent problem requiring an immediate answer.
Maybe your mind jumps from “They have not texted back” to “Something must be wrong.” Maybe you rewrite an ordinary email until it practically qualifies as a dissertation.
Your patterns will be your own. Start by noticing what tends to happen:
- What sets the worry in motion?
- What does your mind predict?
- What do you feel pulled to do?
- Does that response help you move forward, or does it keep the same question going?
For example, asking someone for support can be helpful. Repeatedly asking for the same guarantee may bring brief relief while leaving you needing another answer soon afterward. The pattern and purpose matter. CCI guidance on repeated reassurance-seeking
Noticing that pattern gives you a place to practice. You do not need to scold yourself for having it.
Choose your next helpful play
You do not have to solve your entire relationship with anxiety before lunch. Start with the situation in front of you.
Name the concern
Try a simple sentence: “I am worried I will say something awkward.”
Naming it can help you separate the concern from the jumble of everything else happening in your head.
Identify what needs attention
Is there a practical problem you can address? Or are you trying to get certainty about something no one can guarantee?
If you have missed a deadline, a useful step might be emailing the person involved and making a realistic plan. If you are trying to guarantee that nobody will ever judge you, more mental rehearsing cannot provide that guarantee.
The NHS describes this distinction between actionable problems and hypothetical worries as a useful starting point for deciding what to do next. NHS guidance on tackling worries
Choose one manageable action
Match the response to the situation.
You might write down the first practical step. You might return your attention to the conversation you are having. You might practice tolerating an unanswered question. With your therapist, you might plan a gradual approach to something reasonably safe that anxiety has made difficult.
Choose a step that fits your circumstances and capacity. A smaller step still gives you something to practice. CCI guidance on gradual practice
Review what happened
Ask: “What did I do? What did I learn? What needs adjusting?”
Include how you felt, without making immediate calm the only measure.
For example: “I sent the email after one reasonable review. I still felt nervous, but I got back to my afternoon.”
That is useful information for the next practice.
Practice before the pressure is high
A football team has practice sessions for a reason. Familiarity matters when there is a lot happening at once.
You can give yourself a little practice with an anxiety skill during an ordinary moment, too.
For instance, while washing a mug, notice the temperature of the water and the feel of the cup. When your mind wanders into tomorrow’s problems, notice that and return to the task.
The returning is part of the practice. You do not need to produce a beautifully empty mind. CCI attention-training guidance
Good news for those of us whose brains seem to come with an unlimited-tab plan.
Keep practice realistic. A small exercise you can repeat and discuss with your therapist gives you more to work with than an elaborate routine that does not fit your day.
A helpful game plan leaves room for adjustments
There is a limit to the football analogy: anxiety treatment needs to fit the person living with it.
Persistence can be useful. So can saying, “This approach is not helping me.”
If an exercise repeatedly leaves you feeling worse, you feel overwhelmed by the plan, or anxiety keeps interfering with sleep, work, relationships, or everyday activities, bring that information to a qualified professional.
Treatment may include psychotherapy, medication, or both, depending on your needs and preferences. Finding an appropriate plan can take time. NIMH guidance on anxiety treatment
You deserve support that takes your experience seriously. Asking for a different approach is a useful next play, too.
Read the support guide as text
- There is a real, solvable problem.
- Make a practical plan.
- You are looking for a guarantee.
- Practice allowing uncertainty.
- You are avoiding something reasonably safe and important.
- Plan a manageable step with your therapist.
- An exercise repeatedly leaves you worse.
- Reassess the approach and support you need.
Start with what this moment needs. Your therapist can help you sort it out.
Support, close to home
Anxiety therapy in Indianapolis and online in Indiana and Florida
If you are tired of trying to figure this out alone, we can talk about what has been happening and what kind of support might fit.
High Thrive Counseling offers anxiety therapy in Indianapolis at our Broad Ripple office, with online therapy available throughout Indiana. I also offer online therapy for clients located in Florida. You can learn more about working with me or find directions to our office.
A few things you might be wondering
Questions about anxiety,
practice, and progress
Can Nick Saban’s coaching philosophy help with anxiety?
It offers a useful metaphor: pay attention to the actions you can practice in the present. A coaching philosophy is not an anxiety treatment. A therapist can help you choose strategies that fit your particular concerns.
Why am I still anxious after using coping skills?
Some practice involves responding differently while anxiety is present. A skill may also need adjusting, or it may not fit your needs. Look at patterns over time with your therapist, including distress, daily functioning, and whether you can participate more fully in your life.
How long should it take to feel better?
There is no single timeline. Your symptoms, circumstances, and treatment plan all matter. Ask your therapist how you will evaluate progress and when you will revisit the approach if things are not improving.
Do I have to live in Indianapolis to work with High Thrive?
We offer in-person sessions in Broad Ripple and online therapy throughout Indiana. I also work online with clients located in Florida. A consultation can help you explore which therapist and format fit your needs.
What is your next play?
You may still feel nervous when you take a helpful step. You may need to practice it more than once. You may discover that you need a different kind of help.
That is the part of Nick Saban’s process I want to bring into this conversation: give some attention to how you are approaching the next moment.
Today, that might mean noticing a pattern, trying one manageable action, or asking for support.
You do not have to map out the whole season today.
Warmly,
Jill
Free 15-minute consultation
Your next play can be
a conversation.
Tell me what has been happening, what you have tried, and what you would like to feel different. We can start there.
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